Go Neuro

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There is a school of thought that says every single person in Germany can speak good English and that the majority of English people can’t speak any other language but their own (and due to poor secondary education jobs in this country, some can’t even speak that). And yes, if you’re going red then prepare to go even redder. I can see how people come to the conclusion of the latter—be honest: how many English friends do you have who can speak another language?—but the former–well, it simply isn’t true. How do I know this? Through that great thing called experience of course! I lived there for a while and let me tell you that the Germans aren’t as good as they are made out to be. While it’s undoubtedly true that a large proportion of the country can speak some English, it would be more accurate to say that there are quite a few people who don’t speak it at all. It depends, of course. I have been to parties where every person in the room could speak adequate English–but then, I have also worked in construction sites where nobody could. That’s the best way to learn German, by the way. If you want to know what the German word for “Danger!” is then stand under a dodgy roof: you’ll learn pretty damn quick.

It isn’t the Germans fault, of course. They never proclaimed to be the best at languages. (The best at languages are the Dutch, if you were wondering; on average, by the age of sixteen, all children can speak at least four languages fluently and get by in a few others.) It’s the fault of generations of English people frequenting the same tourist places—places where English has been rammed down the throats of the people: them needing to learn the language for the sake of their livelihoods, rather than through choice.